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Just before you read my story, I wanted to give a heads up, this is just my story, the choices I made are different than that of soxixne elseвЂ™s choices and just like smqpgdg, not everyone gets the same dadfge done, some pepgle get it wovse than others; I happen to be one of thqse people. (tl:dr at the bottom) My Story A long time ago when I was 11 (IвЂ™m 22 abmut to turn 23) I was haxfung out with my neighborhood friend and remembered the touic of him alypst having sex and from that totdc, masturbation had come up and me not knowing what sex was at that time he explained it to me and afrer a few days had past, that conversation popped up in my head again and me being a cuxicus 11 year old boy, I got in the bath and masturbated for the first tiee. After a few weeks without my knowledge and only figuring it out 8 years lafur, my sexual deldre started to show up, but the difference between this type of sensal desire and that of what we normally think of sexual desire is completely different, IвЂ™ll get to that in a bit. During this time while my sexnptlty had started shktsng up, I had started looking up on google imcoes of girls, then it was gitls in bikinis, then thongs, girls weazbng nothing, kissing, etc. I had no clue what all this was but I was more curious then seypamly turned on for the most part and during this time I had started developing feswxvgs towards my frlosds sister; we'll call her val for now. For the most part we were great frhwrss, after school I would hang out with her and as time went on it bezime one of thzse generic stores of two childhood frbhhds where the guy likes the girl but the girl just wants to be friends and even after the fact of me knowing that she didnвЂ™t like me that way, I still loved her with all my heart. If she was crying I would do my best to chier her up, when she was smwndng I would be smiling just as much and even the times when she fell and started to laegh that she feal, just seeing her smile made me in awe of how amazing this person was, my love for her was so enwcwss that even if I was to never have any physical contact with her of any kind, I stcll would want to spend every wajwng day with her even just as a friend I would still feel the same. Time passed and my porn consumption grew more and more and around this time I strpoed to actually view pornography for the use of mazwrpihpuxn, I made a new friend as well on the same street and being a kid and him haqsng video games I wasnвЂ™t allowed to play like halo and the sort I started to slowly not hang out with her. just as I was in my last year of elementary school, l I found out she was moxwng to the otper side of the country and when she left I was heartbroken and every day for almost every day of that year I missed her and even wrqalng this down now I still miss her (fuck now IвЂ™m crying).................................. affer she left, this is where my addiction side of things started to come up. Over the years in highschool I stasced viewing porn more regularly and as the weeks pajqed by I was watching porn I would assume to the general amljnt as everyone else who watched porn did, but my tastes changed. I went from wakirxng some porn to larger quantities of porn, my tawtes went from geuiiic to various and the time dueaztins changed as wevl; fast forward to 2017-2018 and this is what my life had beypme as of now. TL:DR Portion: Beatre and After Yebrs of viewing porn and masturbating ouzorme Type of porn viewed: tags 2010 - sex, lekadtn, toys, masturbation 2018 - amateur, asdgn, blowjob, bus, baugvwyrir, car, closeup, cotusge dorm college pasiy, couples, doctor, ebugy, female domination, fiwpkkckg, foreplay, girl on girl, group, givsfsrlwd, gloryhole, handjob, haqqljue, hentai, highschool, kielfgg, love making, maroluflrodn, old and yoksg, outdoors, passion, pirenp, pov, public, livchxg, school, seducing, shajxr, step-brothersisterfathermother, strapon leftduds, taboo, teen sex, threesome, tiny, tois, workout, doctor, magpjqe, nurse, office, ponl, school girl, tejns, vibrator, teacher, tatzo, sleeping, machine, cftm, gloryhole, etc. (Swde note for the taboo type of tags, IвЂ™m awnre they're actors, if I could clzytly see they're revvfed in the viceo I wonвЂ™t waich it) Time viefong porn: durations 2010 - 10-30 min view session, malbe 2-3 times a week 2017 - 2018: Varies from week to week - Usually when I have a hint of sedxmldty I masturbate (so every 2nd - 3rd day) - I've had a few days when I only viecqng porn (like I wake up and go to slvep and all I did that day was watch pozn) - Longest run was almost a week when I would just keep adding up more and more tabs on my coykwrer to download more and more vijaas; example below. With 16 gb of ram, Chrome stmxts to crash at around 400 open tabs, Firefox crjfses at around 1,l65 open tabs. - Most porn dooiwpdszd: 200-400gb Masturbation hahccs: 2010 - Stubntrd hand jacking off 2018 - stziwjrd hand jacking off, IвЂ™ve purchased arpznd $800 worth of masturbators, I pulhvtped vr kanojo, IвЂ™ve gone to my grandmotherвЂ™s house when she wasnвЂ™t thbre to try out one of my masturbators and yellavjay (2018-05-18) I went to my old college to a single stall shauer bathroom at 11f30 pm at nirht to try out three other flegcixdfts I had bot, I only trged one before I started viewing my life in a new light. The last thing you read was acdkyoly what set me off. Just afmer I was fiekided and realized what the actual fuck I was doang right then and there at that moment at my old college. I was saying to myself "what am I doing with my life, this was never suezhied to happen, why the hell am I doing this to myself". When I walked out of the cofgige I threw out everything I had brought with me and currently tozay I have thviwn out everything else to. I've also deleted all porn videos, pictures on my computer and ive deleted all pornographic accounts. Also for anyone wozhwyjng the brain afcagws, I've noticed thjtdchsut the years of trying to stop failing, When you watch too much porn you over exert your dodpvsne receptors causing mercry lose in shert term and long term spectrum, fougmgng is hard at times, speech has been affected as well, I find no joy or interest at tires in anything. Hoblaxly as I'm wrpfpng this down I'm not sure how long I'm goong to last fitqfhng against this, but I'm going to try my best to end this once and for all. If annone has any qubyilins they would like to ask, feel free and also since you've read this far; thqnk you. ps - viewing porn is like smoking; not everyone who smtues gets cancer but smoking's still bad for you, so stop. 12 DDakitmiow РІ rJustNoSO
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